한 한인학생의 이야기 - 이번 사태를 겪으며(영문)

[One of the current Fuller Korean students wrote a personal story about his experience regarding the restructuring of the Korean programs. Here is the English translation.]

Dear Fuller (A story of a Korean international student)

Life is complex and difficult. Perhaps it’s crazy for a 40-something year old to bring his family to study in America. I was already working as an associate pastor in Korea, but wanted to prepare better for the future. It wasn’t a bad choice to keep working at that post. I was ministering at a healthy church, made of kind people and led by a good senior pastor. Still, I could not give up on the possibility of helping myself to grow and mature more for the long-run. I wasn’t sure how to provide financially for us. I wasn’t confident that my children (4 and 2 at the time) would adjust to a new environment well. In spite of these uncertainties, I somehow convinced my wife to move across the Pacific Ocean.

Though we lacked much, I was happy. I was happy to be with my family. I was happy to learn. Even with financial, linguistic, and cultural pressures, I was happy. I finished two seminars. Everything seemed to be on track, at least until this crisis.

All too suddenly, Fuller announced the restructuring of the two Korean programs into a Korean Center. I was also told that three out of four KSOT staff members were fired. I was shocked. Shouldn’t I, as a student whose life is seriously impacted by the seminary and its decisions, have been given some kind of a heads up? Doesn’t my opinion count for something? Can I now accomplish the goal of appropriate self-growth that I found worthy of crossing an ocean for? Will I be allowed to practically finish my degree? Should I transfer to another seminary? Am I wasting precious time and resources? Unable to rid of these questions in my mind, I kept telling myself that the new Korean Center will be better than my current program for comfort. Still, I could not help but be anxious. The restructuring decision and process seemed like major changes that are likely to require several trial and error steps – steps that may be extremely costly to me and my family.

I have talked to several student friends and sought guidance from a few professors. The picture is more bleak than assumed. I am now even thinking about how to get a full refund and go back to Korea. I have aging parents back at my home country. I am supported by my home church and its hard-working members who are generously sacrificing for me. My wife, the financial manager of my family, is doing her best to be frugal with the little we have – it is burdensome for us to eat out even once a week. It is almost our 10th anniversary, but I doubt that she will suggest going out. I feel so sorry for her, for my parents, for my supporters, and myself. I am stressed out.

I looked into transferring to other schools. But the administrative timing isn’t favorable at this time for many schools, or I would have to move across the country. International students under F1 visa must enroll in 8 units (full-time load) in order to maintain legal status. While I don’t think I will have problems in the upcoming Spring quarter, registering for Spring means that I must stay at Fuller, forced to give my time and resources for the quarter. Even if I do end up transferring, not all schools recognize all of Fuller’s units I have taken. Transferring will surely take more time and money than planned. To make matters worse, it doesn’t feel like Fuller’s administration cares about the plight of international students like myself. All I’m being told is ‘I’m sorry, we will do the best we can.’ But there seems to be no concrete plan to help me. I feel stuck in a stalemate. I feel the worst for my wife, who agreed to come along because she trusted me. I guess it’s a blessing in disguise that my kids are too young to know what’s going on (5 and 3 now).

I wish that Fuller will provide a study environment that it promised originally. When I called Reformed Theological Seminary to inquire about transferring, I was told that it no longer takes new students for its KDMin program. The school is thinking about closing the program down altogether. Still, the school office told me that all academic and administrative policies are to remain at status quo until all of its current students can graduate. I can only think of one reason why RTS is waiting so faithfully: promise. It made a promise to the students when they enrolled. I wish that Fuller would be that faithful as well. Sure, the new Korean Center may eventually end up being better than the current system. But it’s difficult for me to trust that the quality academic guidance and administrative service I will receive will be the same, as many people have been laid off without any specific plans that satisfyingly explain how it will be so. Can’t Fuller just keep its promise and hold any changes until the current students graduate? Perhaps it’s just my wishful thinking.